The Secretary

Here's a true story that happened not too long ago. I hope you find it just as amusing as I did when it first happened. A few of the names and numbers have been changed to protect the innocent (me).

At JPL I had a cubicle, and across from my cubicle was a secretary's cubicle. Now she wasn't my secretary. She wasn't even in the same section as me. I was in section 2, while she was in section 1, although we were both in the same division. (Each division had many sections, each section had many groups.) My cubicle actually belonged to section 1, but section 2 was borrowing it because they were short of space. Section 1 was pressuring section 2 to give the space back.

The secretary that sat in the cubicle across from me was the secretary for the assistant director of section 1. She had just recently transfered to this position. I had heard rumors that she was a bit strange, not very friendly. She had normal working hours, such as 8 am to 4:30 pm. I on the other hand, had rather late hours, usually 12 noon to 8pm. So I wouldn't see her too much.

Like most people at this company, she had a Macintosh computer. And she recently got a screen saver. She had it set to cycle between about a dozen different screens. Three of the screens made noise. One was little birds that would fly around and chirp for for a second or two, then not chirp for a second or two, then chirp again. Another screen was a tv or film countdown, a circle with a bar that moved around the circle counter-clockwise, counting down 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And the third was just a digital clock, clicking at each second.

Now when she was in her office, she was using the computer, so the screen saver would rarely come on, and would rarely hit any of the screens that made noise. However, after she left for the day, it would continously cycle through the different screen savers. Since I was sitting across from it for another 4 hours each and every day, I found this rather annoying. If I got up, went to her computer and moved the mouse, a "screen unlock" window would come up. The window had a text field to enter a password, and three buttons with the labels OK, Cancel, and Quiet. The Quiet button would turn off the sound for that session. While this solved my problem, it was still annoying to have to go over to her computer every single day after she left and press the Quiet button.

So one day, I politely asked her to turn off the sound on the screen saver. After all, she's not there in the evenings when I'm trying to work. I thought it was a reasonable request. However, she didn't. She gave me an incredibly dirty look and walked away. After a few more days of listening to the chirping, tones, and clicking, then going over and pressing the Quiet button, I decided to ask for help. First I told my boss in section 2 what was going on. He said that he didn't know what could be done about it. Now, I am a computer systems administrator and am responsible for many people's computers (although I am an SA for workstations, not PCs or Macs.) So I decided to go to her systems administrator. Now this SA use to be my assistant for the project that I'm working one. I had hired him two years ago. I asked him if he would turn off the sound on the screen saver. He said that 1) he's really busy, and 2) he's had problems with her before, and doesn't want to deal with her again. He said that for now, just continue to click the Quiet button every evening after she goes home, and he'll try to talk to her when he gets the chance.

So I do.

A month or so later, I get a call from Security. "Mr Fogarty, we have a minor little security incedent in your area, and we'd like to ask you a few questions." I think nothing of it. Security has called me on the phone before, asking me about one thing or another: a wallet was lost or perhaps stolen, etc. This time they want me to come over to security. OK, no problem, I can be there in 5 minutes.

So I get there, and I'm told that I've been accused with tampering with another person's computer. It seems that the secretary who sits across from me told her boss, the assistant director of the section, that I've been getting into her computer and changing things. He immediately calls security.

It took me a week to prove that 1) I never got into her system, it was password protected, I only pressed the Quiet button; 2) the screen saver was specifically designed with a Quiet button on the password screen for this exact reason; 3) I kept my boss informed of the situation; 4) I requested help from her systems administrator; and 5) I was doing exactly what he told me to do.

The guy in Security says "Thats all good. But the section's assistant director is still complaining. I am ordering you not to touch her computer. If you do, you will receive diciplinary action."

So I go to the section's assistant director and give him the whole story. He says, "Is that all that is going on ?" I asked him "Why didn't you just come to me and ask me for my side of the story?" I'm only two cubicles away. He said, "Well, you're not in my section." So, he agrees that the chirping, clicks, and tones are a distraction, and tells the secretary to turn off the screen saver's sound.

End of story. So I think.

About four months later, the two sections are still fighting over office space. Section 1 wants my office back. Also, the project I've been working on is winding down, and the follow-on project will be starting up soon. Its been decided that section 2 will not participate in the follow-on project, but section 1 will. So I'm transferred to section 1. I get a new boss, and his boss is the assistant director who reported me to security.

After a few months in my cubicle, they decide to give that space to someone else. They move me into the computer room, where all the hardware that I'm responsible is being kept. (Most of the hardware is turned off, as no one is using it, waiting for the startup of the following project.)

Now, two things happen. First, its time for my annual raise. My group supervisor fills out the paperwork and passes it up the line to get signed. The guy who has to sign it is the assistant director. It sits on his desk for months.

Second, the follow-on project starts up. After two years of doing not much more than babysitting the hardware and software used for the first project, I expect to be the project's systems administrator again. However, I find out that the section decides to give the job to the section's SA, my former assistant.

I go to my boss and ask what's going on. He says that while technically I did nothing wrong, the incident with security just left a bad taste with the section managers. My career is not going to go anywhere while in this section.

At the same time, a section in a different division wanted me to write some software for them. So I get transferred again and immediately get my raise. The project was not quite as fun as the project I was expecting to work on. I don't get to wear headsets or anything. But at least I was still employed.